The fork in the road

So, I had my appointment with the neurologist on Wednesday and he didn''t really tell me anything I didn't already know. That can sometimes be the problem with being well-informed. The internet is such a wealth of information that I've almost diagnosed myself before I get there. BUT, that said, it does help to go with some idea of what the professionals are going to say - it means nothing is too much of a shock.

Anyway, he confirmed that the sensory problems in my feet were officially a relapse. He also seemed relieved to know that my appointment with his colleague, who specialises in MS, was soon (next Monday, 25th). I suppose it makes sense that I have more specialised care - and since my neurologist seems to think that my next route is disease-modifying drugs (DMD's) - he is more than happy for me to have someone who knows more about the condition looking after me.

The news about the DMD's, is again, not unexpected. The implications of them however are certainly hard to take in. More specifically, the information that you are advised not to conceive while taking them (because there has been no research done to tell what damage the drugs may have on the baby). Obviously I am at an age where having a family is becoming a distinct possibility - especially given that I am getting married in less than seven weeks.

So now, we face a dilemma. Do I start the drugs asap and give them a chance to get working before I embark on a family, then come off them in a few years time to have children.
Or, do we decide to have our family straight away, and start the drugs in a few years time, never to come off them again.

In my mind there is no right answer. I have thought continuously about it since Wednesday, and there is never a solid reason to go with one option or the other. The only conclusion I have come to is simple - we want a family, it's just the 'when' part me and J need to figure out.