A year down ...

It's hard to believe but this time last year I was just about to embark on my Copaxone journey.

It was one I faced with trepidation but also filled with hope.

Having already tried Rebif and Avonex I was very aware that Copaxone was sort of my last throw of the dice, and felt as though I really was putting all of my eggs in one basket.

Having to inject every night was always something I worried about but 12 months later I can honestly say it doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as I expected.

Yes, I still avoid my legs (they bruise too easily and the pain isn't great either!) and while I use my arms because it helps with rotating my injection sites, I still wince every time the needle pierces my skin.

Generally each injection is over within ten seconds.

I've even been known to take it with me to a restaurant, nip to the toilets and inject quickly before anyone even notices I've gone.

After all this time I still have days were I forget to take it, despite my alarm buzzing at 7.30pm. 

Sometimes it's the day after before the injection site annoys me, as they can get incredibly itchy. Which isn't a great look at work as I surreptitiously try to scratch my stomach.

Talking of my stomach, it's my favourite place to inject. I'm (un)lucky enough to still have some baby weight lingering on my middle and as a result I hardy feel the needle going in.

I desperately want to lose my 'mum tum' but when my diet gets side-tracked I always console myself with the knowledge that my injections will at least not hurt so much.

But on the whole I've got used to it. 

I've probably only missed about 5 or 6 doses in a whole year so by my calculation that's 360 injections. Each one loaded with a medication I honestly believe is working for me.

I have no major side effects, especially compared to Rebif which left me groggy for half the week. 

Crucially I have had no significant relapse in the last year.

Don't get me wrong, I've had some exacerbation of old symptoms, and the fatigue and pain are things I am unlikely to ever live without. 

But NO relapses is a milestone to be celebrated. I'll take that. 

The Copaxone journey starts here

Yesterday I had my usual Wednesday morning of peace. This occurs when my aunt takes my two girls out to a local playgroup session and I manage to relax without having the baby monitor attached to my side, or a toddler asking repeatedly for sweets (until I inevitably give in, just for a bit of peace!) 

But this week's Wednesday wasn't the usual. Instead I shopped a bit, spending money on the girls again, and lost the first hour trying not to think about the second.

It involved a trip to the local hospital to see my MS nurse Fiona, where she was all set up with my Copaxone start-up kit.

A lovely rucksack was presented to me, inside of which was the myriad of accessories that go with taking the medication.

These include a sharps box for the discarded needles; a mini sharps box for going on holidays with; two fancy pouches to keep the pre-filled syringes in, marked out with the days of the week; two gel packs for heating or cooling as I see fit; two auto-injectors; an injection diary; a DVD on the process and an instruction manual of sorts.

And sitting on the desk, one pre-filled syringe all ready for me to inject.

After a quick chat it was time to get started.

There are nine injection points available to me - two thighs, two arms, two bumcheeks and three areas below and to either side of my belly button.

I decided to start on my bumcheeks as I figured it would be a difficult enough spot to get to on my own and having some instruction from Fiona would only be a good thing.

And it wasn't too bad. The actual injection was easy enough in the end and I'm already preferring doing it myself instead of using an auto-injector which I've had previously. 

It gives you more control and it was over in seconds. The only part that was hard going is the sting afterwards. It starts off as a tiny nip, growing into a serious enough sting but a few deep breaths and I was out the other side.

A red rash not unlike a nettle sting did appear after but it lasted about two hours at most and I was fine for the rest of the day.

It's some difference to Rebif and Avonex, both of which left me feeling groggy and as though I had the flu constantly.

I'm hoping to do my injections in the evenings from now on so will be giving myself the second dose tonight. Wish me luck! 

Focused and hopeful

Lots has been happening recently so I'm going to start with the good stuff. 

Firstly, I went along to the MS information day organised by MS Society Northern Ireland at Titanic Belfast (I'm pictured below on the replica staircase from the ship) - it was a really well put together day, with a hopeful and refreshing talk about research. So much is going on, most of which is funded by the MS Society, and I left feeling that a cure is actually in sight, and possible within my lifetime. 

That blows my mind.

To think that someone somewhere is working on a thought and idea that is going to give people like me a chance to live a life without MS. Incredible.

This day was also really helpful for my mum and aunt, who went with me, and left with a better understanding of the illness. I have been pondering whether I really want to start back on disease-modifying therapies (DMT's) given that they involve injections, again.

I also suffered so much from side effects when taking the last ones that I'm nervous about how the new ones may affect me.

But the research talk made it very clear that treatment of this sort is essential. 

It's simply not an option or something I should be pondering over.

My mum has been, justifiably, worried about me starting again but the talk made her see that I need to start sooner rather than later.

It helps so much when those closest to me understand the process and the decisions I am taking.

And that leads me very well onto the bad stuff.

When I say bad it's not really awful, it's just not lovely either! In short I will be starting back on DMT's next week. 

I've chosen to stay clear of beta-interferons and all of their horrible side effects and instead will be starting on Copaxone. 

The reason I didn't go on it in the first place is that it's a daily injection and that will inevitably impact on my life slightly more than the ones that are only 3 times or once a week.

But it has no side effects bar some redness and irritation around the injection site and I'm hoping I can cope with that quite well.

I've also been suffering with a good bit of pain. My legs in particular ache constantly and my right arm feels as though someone has punched me very hard over and over again. But I am walking fine despite the pain and generally getting on with a hectic life now I have two little ones to look after! 

It's lovely to have people tell me I look so well just 12 weeks after having Lucy but as I always say, 'Never judge a book by its cover'. 

Multiple Sclerosis is frustrating in this way in that most symptoms are invisible and trying to get people understanding the condition can be quite difficult.

I hope if you're reading this that you are slightly better informed :)

As ever, I will try my best to answer any questions so please feel free to comment - or connect with me on Twitter @catdoran