Born This Way ...

... as in, the Lady Gaga song.
I can't get it out of my head this week, and Charlotte is probably sick of hearing me sing it, but it has got me thinking.
Was I born with MS mapped out in my DNA, or is it something I have had the unfortunate fate of getting later in life?
It has to be said though, with no answer forthcoming, I'm happy enough to face it head on regardless. The real question is, would I have lived my life up to diagnosis differently if I had known Multiple Sclerosis was around the corner.
Put simply, probably not. Some would think I would have looked after myself better, got lots of Vitamin D, ate less saturated fat (not because they say this helps people with MS, just because it would help my mid-rif!) and maybe drank a lot less wine - but in actual fact, if anything I would have done the opposite.
If I had known I was going to have MS at 27 I would have travelled extensively, been more spontaneous, and cared a hell of lot less about what people thought of me over the years.
Since I didn't have the benefit of hindsight I'm still pretty satisfied of how I spent my days pre-MS - laughing, dancing, drinking, all surrounded with friends and family - but most significantly, I had the fortune to meet my husband before I became 'Catherine who has MS'.
I mention this because I know some people with MS have talked about how hard it can be to meet someone post-diagnosis - telling them, when to tell them, what to tell them - and I'm so blessed to know that J fell in love with me - the woman born just the way I am now, just without the label of MS.
After all, I'm still laughing, dancing and drinking with my family and friends - nothing has fundamentally changed, I just face the world a little bit differently.

A day in the life

Life has definitely changed now Charlotte is here so here's how my day looks at the minute.

Charlotte used to sleep until 7am but she's been waking at 6am this week so I'm hoping this early start doesn't become a regular occurrence - that hour makes a difference like you wouldn't believe.

Then it's a bottle and nappy change for the wee lady before I take my medications and a cup of Earl Grey. Tea is a big part of Northern Irish life but I hate the regular stuff, especially brewed to within an inch of its life. I just pour over the water, take out the teabag immediately and drink while it's still hot. Although I have been known to take a cup that's cooled down to freezing while Charlotte takes priority!

A wash is thrown in the machine, the place tidied round and I'll sit watching the breakfast news, always on BBC1, for an hour or so while I wake up proper. And despite my husband working for local BBC radio I rarely switch it on, I'm more of a TV kind of gal. He usually gets home for a break around 10am so I'll make him his breakfast and then pop Charlotte down for one of her legendary cat-naps - she sleeps for 40 mins if I'm lucky, it's normally 20.

I find time somewhere along the way to send a few tweets, usually about 4 a day although this number does vary - some days it's 20, others I write none at all, depends if the chat is interesting enough!

Usually I plan a trip out of the house, even just for coffee with friends or a walk in the park - anything to get out for an hour otherwise I feel like I've done nothing with my day. The activity will depend on my energy levels and whether my feet are painful or not. In recent months I've had to admit that taking it easy is no bad thing either so if I think I'm better staying at home I'll invite someone round - I love company.

Joe's home mid-afternoon and we have some family time, playing with Charlotte, laughing at her little expressions and marvelling over how quickly her personality is developing.

Dinner is something homemade, we rarely eat takeaways or ready meals, and I make the majority of Charlotte's meals from scratch too. I do buy organic fruit purees because to be honest, they're 100% fruit and if I was to buy fresh fruit and puree it myself it wouldn't only take forever but cost a fortune too - so while I like her to eat well I'm not stupid, sometimes convenience is just as good.

Her bedtime is around 7pm and she's usually no bother so our evenings are our own. Once she's down I take an hour to sort bits and pieces out, maybe do a spot of ironing, which is my least favourite household chore so I keep on top of it rather than give myself a huge pile!

Then Joe and I will settle down to read the papers or watch a spot of TV. I'm loving Sky+ because we can save the series we want to watch together for when Charlotte sleeps. Although the new Sky Atlantic channel has us spoiled at the minute so we switch between Boardwalk Empire, the Sopranos or Game of Thrones. If it's a weekend night we'll have a glass of wine and chill out.

Three times a week I inject my DMD's so I get out my little record book and double check I'm rotating my sites properly. Then I inject before I have too much time to think about it and it's bed for 11pm latest.

Fabulous friendship

I read somewhere recently that you will have around 50 acquaintances in your life but will only count five of them as true friends. I have a sense that this is very true but I must also be a very lucky person because I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I have more than five people who I would trust with my deepest secrets and hopes.

But it's also true that there's probably only three who I would ring at 3am if I needed a chat, or more likely, a shoulder to cry on. In recent years the need for middle of the night hand-holding has greatly diminished - mainly because my poor husband puts up with most of my moaning and groaning!

However, while my family are generally fantastic it's also true that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. And in recent years my friends have been a major source of support. They know when I want to talk about my MS - which isn't very often - and when not to ask. Lately, they are also the ones whom I love meeting for a coffee or dinner, leaving Charlotte with her dad, so that I don't forget who I am besides being a mum.

So, tonight's post is a big shout out to 'my girls' - you know who you are - thank you for being there, and thank you for letting me be me.

A touch of self-promotion

Oh dear, the challenge for day three is to get readers to tell others that my blog exists. Which means a rally of self-promotion - and, yes I'm confident, but not really very good at putting myself out there so ferociously.

I follow some very lovely people on twitter and I am always astounded at how they promote their blogs with such ease. And I don't think they're overly in-your-face either. But I have this sense that I will come across as pushy.

The issue with this is mainly because I never started the blog to be widely read - and those that have read from the start will know this - but as time has gone on I have had this sense that what I write may help others with Multiple Sclerosis, their friends and family perhaps, and if at all, maybe raise awareness about an illness that affects so many but isn't the most well known.

So, for one day only (for now anyway!) I'll ask you all nicely - if you like what I write, spread the word. Maybe give the blog a quick link on Facebook or leave a comment that gets people talking. You can also find me on twitter - @catdoran - and if you would like to link me on there too then an extra thank you comes your way!

My top tips for the first time mum

In the run up to having Charlotte I read a few books and the odd website, to get some idea of what to expect of pregnancy, labour and the associated paraphernalia surrounding the event.

Some was worth reading, others not. Now, a few of my friends are currently expecting and they've asked me some advice based on my experiences. So here they are, my top tips to prepare you for becoming a mum for the first time!

1. Fill your freezer while waiting for the baby to make an appearance.
All the books tell you this one but I scoffed slightly at the idea. After all, lots of guests would be calling with dinner pre-cooked for us. Yes? No! You do get lots of visitors but generally they just want to coo at the baby, not feed the mum. I did a few portions of lasagne, some soups and pies - and they were all utilised in the first few weeks.

2. Expect lots of visitors.
Following on nicely from tip number one! Visitors are an expected part of having a baby so get your cupboards packed with tea, coffee, sugar and biscuits. Just make sure to ask them to make it themselves. And don't be scared about asking them to hang out a load of washing, wash the dishes or peel your potatoes for dinner - after all, if they're friends and family they'll be happy to help.

3. Expect your body to feel as though a bus has run over it.
Thankfully I can safely follow this comment up with - it will be back to normal pretty soon. BUT, don't expect miracles. You've just had a baby.

4. Your hormones will be all over the place
I expected the baby blues but honestly, it was a reality check to see how quickly I went from happy-go-lucky to floods of tears. I wish someone had told me beforehand just how much your emotions take over. So, just go with it, ask your partner to be patient and eventually they'll settle down. I should pop a quick disclaimer here regarding post-natal depression. I'm no doctor but it's a very real illness so if those emotions aren't settling down by week six or so then it will do no harm to have a chat with your GP.

5. Your life will never be the same again.
I hated people telling me this when I was pregnant because I'm not stupid, of course everything was going to change. But they were right. However, while it has changed it certainly isn't over, in fact it's the best time of your life. Enjoy it!

Fat? At three?

As the new mum to a gorgeous baby girl I was horrified this week to read that over half of all three to six year old girls think they are fat. Fat? At three? I don't think I even knew was fat was when I was ten never mind three. And I didn't grow up that many years ago.

In fact, I was a child in the eighties with my teenage years played out across the nineties. And yes, I do remember worrying about my weight, but only when I got to sixteen and discovered boys. Looking back it's scandalous that I even thought I was 'fat' then. A mere size eight I was in fact probably too thin!

So to think that our little ones are now developing body issues at such a young age scares the life out of me. Being a child is all about having fun, and NOT worrying about anything at all, never mind weight.

Part of me hates to say it but I believe that school policy regarding snacks is somewhat to blame. I say part of me because I am a huge advocate of healthy eating and definitely believe in the old adage everything in moderation. However, I've heard my friends with children talk about how strict the schools now are about break time snacks and I wonder if it's their over-zealous approach that has kids paranoid.

They are constantly being told that crisps and sweets are bad for you, that it's unhealthy to be overweight and it is only a matter of time before the constant bombardment starts to take its toll. Growing up we were never denied anything, my mum cooked us good home-cooked meals every night and she always said, 'once the treats are gone, they're gone' - ie. if we wanted them all on day one then don't be asking for more on day two when there was none left!

Personally I can safely say that I spent my university years worrying about my weight more than at any other time in my life - and it's when I put most on - I blame the drink! Now, one baby down, I am more happy with my shape than ever before - and that's despite the stretch marks and the toll pregnancy and labour has inevitably had on me. I can only hope that my precious daughter follows my relatively positive outlook as regards her weight because 'fat' at three just isn't sitting well with me at all!

30 day blogging challenge

I think I may be mad but I've signed up to take part in a 30 day blogging challenge. The idea is simple - I get sent a topic to blog about every day for 30 days and hey presto, I write.

Now that may seem like an easy task but I'm already guessing I may run behind schedule - especially with Charlotte taking up so much of my time at the minute. BUT, I really love writing on here and I'm hoping it will broaden my horizons about what I actually talk about.

So, wish me luck .... here goes!