Friday, 17 June 2011

Nobody's perfect

I've had a tough few weeks. Generally, I give the appearance of someone who is coping very well. I'm back at work one day a week to ease myself back into the madness that is local newspapers, there are washed and ironed clothes in everyone's cupboards, the floors are mopped and we are well fed.
But inside I'm struggling.
And the reason is very simple. I expect too much of myself.
Everything may be done but at what cost. Today I think it may be my sanity.
Because my brain is on overload. You know those days when you your mind is on a constant loop ... well that's been me for the last fortnight. And quite frankly I'm doing my own head in!
It's easy fixed - I just need to use a diary better - but instead I've been running everything that needs done over in my head ... again, and again, and again!
The situation hasn't been helped by the fact that I haven't been great MS wise (feet playing up, horrible fatigue, flu-like pains after injections) and Charlotte has been up teething leaving me with unbroken sleep and a body that simply doesn't want to do what my mind is telling it.
I'm also pushing myself physically. This weekend I'm off to Sligo for one of my best friends' hen night - which I wouldn't miss for the world - but it involves a two hour drive which I know will drain me. So as a sacrifice I'll just drink less champagne :)

Then next weekend we're off to Scotland to visit my family - in what will be our first family holiday. And I am really looking forward to it but the organisation required is sort of freaking me out.
So, in order to redress the balance the solution seems obvious - I need to chill out!
I also need to remember that I'm not always going to get everything right, done on time or perfectly - but that that's ok. After all, no-one gets it right 100% of the time.


  1. Hi there Catherine. Firstly can I just say how tremendously brave you are and how incredible your energies must be to look after your beautiful baby daughter! she must bring you such joy despite everything! I found your blog when searching for similar blogs to my aunties you should take a look, i think it is something you would be interested in. She lives in Norwich and suffers from Primary Progressive MS. She has had it for a good few years now but it is only as i have got older that i realised she was suffering - she always seems to have a smile on her face, which humbled me with her braveness! She is currently waiting for the treatment CCSVI in Poland - apparently it is not available in the UK yet but if tests are positive they may roll it out here. She is having the operation in August and she is uploading a lot of videos to show her condition before and after the op. She is rather technically impaired hence why I am contacting you, but she would love to hear from you and your experiences and if you would like to know more about CCSVI please please get in contact. Good luck with everything and enjoy your daughter, she is gorgeous. Kind regards Kate

  2. working, being a mother and wife, AND having MS? i'd say "getting it right" even 50 percent of the time would be a great job with that kind of load! don't be so tough on yourself and take some time to just sit and breathe.

  3. Excellent post. It's so important that we take time to rest and take care of ourselves- understanding is important. Hang in there and have a wonderful time in Scotland!

  4. Hi catherine! Just found your blog and can't tell you how much I am enjoying reading it! Like you I was 26 when I got diagnosed with ms- that was just 4 months ago now- and similar to you I am getting married in 2 months! I am also from Ireland- I am from Lisburn! One of the first things I thought when I was told it was ms was 'should I have children?' just reading your story has inspired me- thank you!! I can especially identify with this blog post- always too hard on myself!! Best of luck with everything! Lyndsey x