I've had a tough few weeks. Generally, I give the appearance of someone who is coping very well. I'm back at work one day a week to ease myself back into the madness that is local newspapers, there are washed and ironed clothes in everyone's cupboards, the floors are mopped and we are well fed.
But inside I'm struggling.
And the reason is very simple. I expect too much of myself.
Everything may be done but at what cost. Today I think it may be my sanity.
Because my brain is on overload. You know those days when you your mind is on a constant loop ... well that's been me for the last fortnight. And quite frankly I'm doing my own head in!
It's easy fixed - I just need to use a diary better - but instead I've been running everything that needs done over in my head ... again, and again, and again!
The situation hasn't been helped by the fact that I haven't been great MS wise (feet playing up, horrible fatigue, flu-like pains after injections) and Charlotte has been up teething leaving me with unbroken sleep and a body that simply doesn't want to do what my mind is telling it.
I'm also pushing myself physically. This weekend I'm off to Sligo for one of my best friends' hen night - which I wouldn't miss for the world - but it involves a two hour drive which I know will drain me. So as a sacrifice I'll just drink less champagne :)
Then next weekend we're off to Scotland to visit my family - in what will be our first family holiday. And I am really looking forward to it but the organisation required is sort of freaking me out.
So, in order to redress the balance the solution seems obvious - I need to chill out!
I also need to remember that I'm not always going to get everything right, done on time or perfectly - but that that's ok. After all, no-one gets it right 100% of the time.