Getting frustrated about things I cannot change is something I usually don’t indulge in. I’ve always had the attitude that what’s done is done so you’re better to face it head on than stress about the stuff you can’t fix.
My approach to my MS diagnosis has pretty much followed this path and it has stood me in good stead so far.
However, there is one aspect about having MS that frustrates greatly - and it’s something I will never be able to change. And that’s the impact my illness has on those around me.
This hit me hardest when first diagnosed. While I was striding forward, convincing everyone in my wake that this really wasn’t the worst thing to happen, I watched my husband and parents struggle to come to terms with it all.
Looking at things from their perspective I would probably be the same. After all, when someone you love is hurt, whether that be a cut on the knee or a life changing diagnosis, you want to kiss it better.
But they must look at me and I think, ‘What can I do to help?’.
In truth, despite not having a magic wand to make me better overnight, they have helped massively, in all sorts of ways.
My mum helps with practical stuff like the ironing and she has this unbelievable gift of coming into my home like a whirlwind and somehow leaving 60 minutes later with a clean house left in her wake - genius!
My dad just keeps the jokes coming ... and then, every so often, we have a heart to heart where I get to off-load lots of stuff I’ve been thinking and/or feeling and I feel miles better.
And then there’s my darling husband who worries like mad and takes the brunt of any mad mood I may indulge in. He has held me tight while I’ve sobbed (which I might add happens so rarely I think he’s sort of glad I’m actually having a cry so I’m not trying to be superwoman all the time!) and told me very patiently that no matter what the road ahead brings, we will face it together.